An account of the February 2017 Reunion by Claire Martin

We adult Hong Kong adoptees had another wonderful reunion last Saturday, 18th February 2017, and a couple of us had a titter at some of the absent Other Halves daring to ask the question, “What’s the purpose?” Purpose? We need a purpose? Although we missed some familiar faces (we thought of you and raised a glass of something or other in your direction), we had a great turnout. We are so grateful to Jasmine for pulling out the stops and finding us a new venue in the crypt of St Martin-in-the-Fields Church slap bang in the middle of London (by Trafalgar Square). Even I could find it and my ability to get lost is legendary. In fact, to be on the safe side, we posted red arrows all the way to the hall we were in. Debbie, our UK Hong Kong Adoptee Network founder, was not taking any chances. Sue and Kate were in support as ever and it was delightful to meet other members of Kate’s family.
Over the years, at each reunion, we learn things we did not know before. We learned why we were left to be found (refugees from Mainland China – thanks for nothing those who told me growing up that my first mother was probably a prostitute), how we were looked after by the helpers in the orphanages, who has managed to trace blood relatives and how they did it and what we have all experienced growing up in English families. This time we were amazed to discover that our story was part of someone else’s. We featured in the 80 year history of British Airways flying to Hong Kong from London. In all our glory, there we were, in an exhibition in Gerrard Street, London’s Chinatown, called “A Tale of Two Cities”. A few of us went to the launch do on Valentine’s Day and met some local Chinese dignitaries, BA execs and some current cabin crew. We asked if they could find out who the air hostesses were who brought us over, looked after us during the flight from Hong Kong to the UK all those years ago, and featured in our newspaper photos.

And who knew, all the years some of us have lived in London, that there was a Chinese community centre under the café in the Church of St Martin-in-the Fields called the Bishop Ho Ming Wah Association and Community Centre? With Mandarin classes, painting, calligraphy, T’ai Chi and all? It has been there since the ‘60s and the community bit since the ‘80s. Here is the link for anyone who wants it:

http://www.bhmwa.com/

Gathered in a circle, in our very own AA meeting (Adoptees Anonymous?) we were joined by a helper from St Christopher’s in the 1960s, Mrs Chan-Yuen Han Tang who told us a bit about life in the orphanage and how some poor families gave up their children to these institutions so that they could have an education. We were later treated to a talk by Chung-Wen Li, Dean of the Ming-Ai Institute (another revelation) which aims to introduce Chinese culture to the UK – where were all these magnificent organisations when we were growing up? Chung-Wen spoke about the project she has in mind to capture our adoption stories orally – the more the merrier. Chris supported the great idea of including input from the adoptive families – parents and siblings. Chung-Wen’s eyes lit up. Even more interviewees means more likelihood of attracting sponsorship and a new angle to pursue – two birds with one stone! At which point she belted over to the aforementioned British Airways Exhibition leaving us all to meander over the newish China Exchange in Gerrard Street – yet another place I’ve walked passed not knowing it existed (though to be fair it is only a year old). Every single one of us made it – even those foolish enough to follow me. Here is the link to the China Exchange website:

http://chinaexchange.uk/  and to Ming-Ai:

http://www.ming-ai.org.uk/

As well as being able to wander around the exhibition, Chung-Wen delivered a slide show on the Chinese Diasporic Workforce in the UK, a project similar to the one she has in mind for us, where she interviewed people from many industries and professions, to capture the Chinese immigrant experience over many years. One was a merchant seaman in WWII who recently died, giving a sense of urgency to our own stories now that many of us have lost our adoptive parents as well. She traced back to the very first Chinese person to come to the UK in the reign of James II, testing our knowledge of the subject. We were woefully ignorant which I put down to our isolation growing up and the discovery of all these Chinese organisations goes to show we are still not embedded in the Chinese community here. Spread around the country, often the only Ethnic in the village, we fought our own battles against prejudice and, as we discovered this time, put our British nearest and dearest through it as well. And people wonder why we are making up for lost time now?
We went back to the crypt for an authentic Chinese meal (prepared by two wonderful women of the Bishop Ho Ming Wah Association), a good natter and to celebrate Naomi’s birthday. Our reunions have evolved over the years. We reminisced about our first encounters, that rabbit-in-the-headlights experience intruding into groups forged at earlier reunions, discovering there were loads of us at the BAAF book launch, comparing adoption records, giggling over not being able to remember each other’s names, the endless selfies and group photos, dipping our toes into Facebook and keeping in touch electronically. We realise we were once together, more than fifty years ago, staring at the same ceiling, eating the same rice gruel, playing with the same toys, flying half way round the world together. The elation of finding each other still has not worn off. We were there for each other then, we are there for each other now.