Written by Kate Gordon
Pictures by Kate and or resident Photographer Ian
Can you believe 5 weeks has passed since the UK HKAN met in Birmingham!
We were given the use of Southside BID’s Board Room – a really lucky stroke given its proximity to New Street station (Grand Central).
We were also fortunate in our speaker, Irene Henery. Irene is a well-known businesswoman in Birmingham’s Chinatown, being the accountant for Ian Henery Solicitors Ltd which she helped husband Ian to set up. However, we had invited Irene to talk to the group about their experience of adopting from China. Being Malaysian Chinese, we felt that Irene would offer some different insights and we weren’t wrong!
Irene already had two daughters when, prompted by a heart-breaking news story of a baby girl abandoned and left to die on the street in China, she and her husband decided to adopt from China.
Irene described the lengthy and arduous vetting and preparation process in the UK which is not adapted for prospective adopters who are Chinese. The experience in China echoed that of our previous speaker on this subject Annabel Stockland who had also been presented with a baby that did not resemble the child in the photograph. However, Irene was aware that rejecting a baby in a Chinese orphanage will quite probably lead to that child being condemned to suffer neglect leading ultimately to death. Therefore they accepted the child unconditionally.
Irene also spoke of the neglect that Emily had clearly experienced. Emily took to Ian immediately which caused some practical difficulties; however, over time, Irene developed her own relationship with her daughter.
Irene spoke about Emily growing up and fitting into family life. She is now a very typical Western teenager, but she has direct access to Chinese cultural heritage through Irene.
Irene described the ‘tough love’ and strict discipline found in traditional Chinese families which has been one of the motivating factors in her life. She suggested that this might challenge a commonly held belief within the transnational/transracial adoptee circle that we have lost a valuable part of our culture. In particular, the devaluing of girls and women in traditional Chinese culture is something that we should not miss.
Irene’s presentation was highly appreciated, both for the frank but warm recollections of her family’s adoption story, and for the insights she gave us into the difficulties of being born a girl in Chinese society. The presentation stimulated many questions and discussion.
Group Activity
Before Irene’s presentation, we had done a warm up activity. In pairs, each person had 3 minutes to look at their partner’s face; they then had to draw it from memory.
Returning to the drawings after Irene had finished, the ‘portraits’ were numbered, and we all had to guess who was who.
The meeting ended with the usual mixture of news and greetings from absent friends. Julia Feast had sent a message notifying us that the merger of BAAF with Coram had not worked out well for her so she would be leaving.
Sue passed on news from Jasmine Gillies who has been liaising with the Ming Ai Institute who are acting as curators for a British Airways anniversary exhibition celebrating 80 years of flying between Hong Kong and the UK. The exhibition will include a feature on the Hong Kong adoption programme in the 1960’s. Chungwen Li, Dean of the Institute, had issued a request for any photographs and newspaper articles featuring BOAC, the precursor to British Airways.
After the meeting closed, we all headed off to Ming Moon Buffet restaurant for an enjoyable meal together.
Our thanks to Southside BID for providing us with the meeting room with refreshments and facilities, and to Irene Henery for putting so much thought and time into her presentation and taking part in our group activity with such a spirit of fun.
A message from Irene Henery,
Guest Speaker at Birmingham Meet-up October 2016
Can I interest your members in supporting this charity The Good Rock Foundation set up by Jacqui Shurr who adopted her daughter from China and then decided to support Chinese orphans full time by her and her doctor husband moving there. They are very good Christians and realised that the adopted ones are much luckier than the ones who are left behind, and many left behind are disabled.
They flew out many doctor friends who gave their medical expertise free of charge to help these orphans. They set up The Fig Bakery so that the disabled can have employment. See link http://www.good-rock.org
Unfortunately the Chinese govt is forcing them out of mainland China so they are moving to HK to continue their good work. I hope some of your members might be interested in supporting them. I have been supporting them before I had Emily and I am always impressed by how faith can inspire wondrous acts.
Another link I can recommend is www.dramafever.com for anyone who wants to watch Chinese TV series with English subtitles – easiest way to learn Mandarin! If you go for the historical dramas you will learn some Chinese history and culture. I cross reference with information from Google.
I am currently watching “Prince of Lan Ling” and find it fascinating that he was real, although the producers have obviously added a fictitious love interest. If you watch it on your iphone it is free and has no advertisements. If you watch it via a laptop there is a lot of ads unless you pay a monthly subscription.