Saturday March 16th 2013 Reunion London

 

THANK YOU SPEECH

Well what a day we have had, starting off with Sue, Jasmine and then Claire each presenting their diverse view of their own adoptive lives. I would like to sincerely thank these three girls as i am sure each and every one of you will be able to identify with something they have said. I am sure you would all like to show (your appreciation in the usual manner).  (Presentations are posted to Talks, Docs & More info) 

Again i would like to thank both Julia & Margaret for their wonderful presentation of the findings of the BCAS study, many of whom have read the book have been fascinated at some of the quotes from ourselves as it has given a tremendous insight that although the road at the beginning had not been easy we have not turned out too badly…… Without this study the HKAN group, would not have grown so quickly so we are deeply indebted to Julia Feast and Margaret Grant / (researchers) for having handle our cases so sensitively and their continued support.

I think you will agree we have had an action packed fun day especially when we had a warm up game (an ice breaker) after lunch followed by a further slot for adoption voices…….. / Introductions. As you know we have had some media coverage of late especially as the Government are trying to revisit the new laws and legislation on Transracial adoption the timing of this study / book has I hope given them a good (template) to work on.

We are a unique group of adopted Chinese children that were brought over back in the early 1960’s and although the time was so different then I do hope the government will have learnt that as children we had no control of our destiny and although we have all had the luxury a of the westernized world for some ‘Love’ has not been enough, we needed to know more about our culture as we were growing up so that we could fit in and as Sue Poems goes ‘In My Skin’ . I think it is fair to say that more is being done on the child’s cultural education and as we live in a cosmopolitan country things have (become) easier.

These are just my views and observations so I am aware that you will have all formed your own opinions. I am neither for or against transracial adoption but certainly in our time had it not been for the Hong Kong ISS Refugee Adoption Project many of us would certainly not be where we are today. So the decision was the right one then but i do think more emphasis should be on trying to find a home for that child in its own country.

My final note here is that today’s transracial children and the adopters have had the benefits of a much better understanding and a system to maintain contact. I wish them well.

On that note I would just like you to know that I have a number of adoptee friends who have all adopted Chinese children some late in their lives, I am full of admiration for them and for those that know Deborah Jones in our group she is this very moment winging her way over to China to pick up two girls. I am sure you will all wish her well as she ventures on a new journey, another stage and challenging one at that. As for many of us it was quite a traumatic experience!

Lastly I would like to thank you for attending and for your continual support and friendship as this group continues to thrive. It goes with out saying Kate thank you for all the work you have done, help and guidance as without the help of kate the reunions would struggle to get off the ground. Thank you Debbie Cook HKAN Founder

Thoughts from our Adoptee Sister Mim from Seattle, USA after attending the London HK Adoptee Reunion

(Mim and Debbie share the same Chinese Name TSIN,)

How can I describe my first ever HK adoptee reunions?. Without a doubt, the first moments, the first conversations, the first sighting of other adoptees will be forever be indelibly imprinted on my heart the rest of my life. When I discovered my orphanage in 2009, I found out that there were actually other adoptees like myself from the very same orphanage and I was both overwhelmed and elated. I felt like Iʼd been born instead of hatched. At the time, the first HK adoptee reunion in Hong Kong was being planned and I wasnʼt quite ready to meet any adoptees. But then, gradual talks with Debbie actually persuaded my head that I could emotionally handle going to a reunion.

In March of 2013, just after “Adversity, adoption and afterwards” was published and presented, my husband, son Micah and and I boarded a plane heading west to the UK for the London reunion. I was eager to meet Debbie and listen to the book presentation by Julia Feast. Having lived in the UK for 3 years, I felt like I was kind of going home…and with eager anticipation. I couldnʼt wait to meet my fellow HK sisters!

Well, to start the reunion weekend, on Friday night a small group of us met at a Chinese restaurant . Walking up to the restaurant with the wind and rain swirling around me I went into self doubt. Thoughts like, ”Would they like me, would I feel odd, would I feel rejected?” As I walked in the restaurant there were Debbie and Sue with smiles on their faces and any doubt and fear were left outside the door. Fun night with Kim M, Karen, Sue, Debbie, Mim & Marie! Great humour, lots of laughing.

 

The following day as I entered the BAAF building and found my seat, I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of HK adoptees. As I looked around the room, though I wasnʼt a “Brit”, my first thought was OMgosh,  Iʼm just like them. And then my second thought was, OMgosh, I love that Iʼm just like them!  I must say Kate and Debbie did an incredible job organizing the reunion. While the book presentation was simply amazing, what cut to my heart were the shared stories of 3 of the adoptees. At that moment I wanted to bawl my eyes out, but I didnʼt notice any of the Brits really sobbing, so I kept it cool!  Good thing because otherwise Iʼd still be laying in fetal position on the BAAF conference room floor. To top off a wonderful, emotionally flooded day, we went to another delicious Chinese restaurant and had more time to get acquainted. My biggest regret is that I didnʼt get to really talk to everyone. Next time!

 

Pictures donated by Serena 

Pictures submitted by others

Tea with Xinran the famous Chinese Author

 

Kate, Debbie and I emerged from Queensway tube station, to promptly go in the wrong direction. I have to say this was under my instruction. Debbie was saying she thought it was the other way, and she was right!

Fortunately Xinran’s home is very close to the station, so we didn’t have far to go. Xinran if you don’t know is a famous Chinese author (you can find a list of her books on Amazon) and the reason why we had been invited, along with Jasmine, Claire and Lucy, to meet her was because she heard us speak at the BAAF book launch in January. Xinran has set up a charity called Mother’s Bridge of Love (MBL), to provide ‘a bridge between China and the world; primarily for British families, who have adopted children from China, who want to learn more about the culture their children come from and share experiences with other families who’ve adopted children from China.’

Our invitation to Xinran’s home was, from what we could gather, a meeting place for us to talk about ways in which we could support her organisation, because of our experiences of having been adopted. It turned out to be so much more than this as we were also invited to have Chinese tea with her. When arrived we were greeted by Xinran and a number of student volunteer workers. In fact there were 15 of us in total! It was so lovely to meet such welcoming and talented people – the students are studying subjects such as global Chinese economy at King’s College, and of course their English is brilliant! For Chinese tea we were given 3 types of tea and there were a selection of Chinese (and French) biscuits. In the centre of the table was a bunch of daffodils – common to us as an indicator that spring has arrived, but also, as we found out, in China the white daffodil is a symbol of wealth and good fortune and is grown especially for the New Year.

We were all invited to talk about ourselves and while we were doing this a surprise was being set up for us. Xinran presented us with a ‘gift’, which was an amazing performance from one of the students on a Chinese Erhu played by a young Hong Kong boy who is a third year student at the Royal academy for music. He played a piece of music called Hope! It was a very moving experience.

Eventually it came to the point where we needed to drag ourselves away from Xinran’s home as it was getting quite late. With great reluctance we left, but in the knowledge that a friendship has been established between UK HKAN and MBL.

Written by Sue Jardine

Links

Xinran’s publications include ‘Good women of China (2003) and Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother: Stories of Loss and Love (2011)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_6/275-4657255-9076252?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=xinran&sprefix=xinran%2Caps%2C178

Mother’s Bridge of Love website

http://www.mothersbridge.org/

Sunday Observer – Interviews Sue Jardine, Claire Martin & Jasmine Gillies

How a generation of orphans fared when they were matched to mixed-race couples

Hong Kong children brought to the UK 50 years ago tell of their struggles to fit in – and what has changed since

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/feb/03/hong-kong-orphans-uk

Whilst it is good to get media coverage for the book, this article has failed to present our perspectives properly.  Sue says that it was too simplistic and her experiences and feelings were taken too much out of context.

Adversity, adoption & afterwards – a mid-life follow-up study of women adopted from Hong Kong

A Summary of the day
At last, the eagerly awaited day of the book launch had arrived and, as one of the lucky ones able to attend, I felt excited travelling in to London.  Not only was this a chance to pick up one of the first copies, “Hot off the Press” but also another opportunity to mingle and chat to fellow adoptees!
 
Julia Feast (as the British Chinese Adoption Study Project Manager) gave a brief introduction.  Presentations by Margaret Grant, Alan Rushton and John Simmonds covered issues such as early orphanage life, health and well-being, relationships, (both with the adoptive family and partners) exposure to racist attitudes or behaviour, as well as opinions on transracial/transnational adoption.  
 
Much thought had been given to the planning of the study: Standardised measures had to be used so that key comparisons could be made with other studies, especially the 1958 National Child Development Study. 
 
However, the team was also keen to strike a balance between a scientific study without losing the personal and human elements, resulting from information given in the questionnaires and face to face interviews. 
 
Four adoptees gave very different but equally moving, personal accounts about their backgrounds and experiences of adoption. I can’t say any more since I believe they have been asked to speak again at the Reunion in March!
 
Julia then presided over a short “Question and Answer” session. It was hoped by many that, after so much dedicated, hard work by the project team, the results of this research may help the government to shape future adoption policy in this country.
 
Finally, I’d like to place on record special thanks to the Nuffield Foundation for funding this project and to all who were involved with it.