This tribute is from Debbie, Sue and Kate on behalf of the UK Hong Kong Adoptee Network
Time constraints meant we were unable to read our tribute, so we are sharing here.
This tribute is from Debbie, Sue and Kate on behalf of the UK Hong Kong Adoptee Network.
Firstly, we would like to offer our deep condolences to Peter, Tessa’s children and their wider family.
We three met Tessa at different times: Sue in 2000, at the event organised by Jasmine Gillies which took place at St Thomas’ Hospital, London; Debbie initially made contact by email after a referral from the Fanling Babies website, then met in-person in Manchester in 2010 which is when Kate also met Tessa for the first time.
We were not family or friends in the usual sense – we had a bond based on a shared start in life, deep understanding and empathy. As babies, we were all chosen to be part of other people’s families; as adults, we chose to be part of another, unique family – the Hong Kong Adoptee Network, started by Debbie in 2010. Early on, we started to refer to each other as sisters (and brothers, since there were a couple of men).
Over the past 14 years, we have organised reunions which have taken place in Birmingham and London. During Covid, we went online so that we could help everyone stay connected. In 2021, we applied for a grant to cover the costs of a venue to enable us to hold our first in-person reunion post-Covid. We needed evidence to support our application – we would like to quote parts of the response from another adoptee sister Laura –
‘Many years ago, when I was feeling (I thought) secure, strong and had a good sense of my identity as an international adoptee, I found that I was one of over 100 adoptees, brought from Hong Kong to the UK. This was a big surprise, and it took some years to get used to the idea there were more like me, and even more used to the idea that they might see me as a sister.
Over the decade that I have been part of the network … I have realised how being part of the group, sharing our similarities and differences, gave me a stronger sense of security and identity. My sisters have accompanied me on the highs and lows of my life journey… Without the meetings, to share and process what only other women who have experienced adoption, of a similar nature, there is no doubt my life would less rich. Less meaningful, less whole. I may not have the sister I should have from my adoptive family, as we are as unconnected as I am connected to my adoptive sisters, but this is made more bearable through being part of the network.
Without being able to meet on Zoom, throughout Covid, and during what has been a particularly challenging time of my life, I would have struggled harder to make sense of recent changes.
It is hard to capture in words exactly how being part of the group and being able to meet and continue to meet virtually has helped my emotional wellbeing, but it has, and for this I am grateful’
We would like to think the fact that Tessa responded to Jasmine’s call in 2000, made the journey to Manchester in 2010, and attended nearly all the reunions in London, meant that the deep connection sustained through the network held the same significance for Tessa as it evidently has for Laura.
In the last few years, our personal circumstances have limited our capacity to organise meetings – it sadly meant that some of us had not seen Tessa since 2021 when we held that post-Covid reunion at the Foundling Museum. It was a massive shock to hear of Tessa’s untimely passing; we are deeply saddened individually and collectively. We end our tribute with Sue’s words:
‘It was always lovely to see Tessa at meetings because she was such a warm and friendly person’
This is how we all remember Tessa.
Tribute from Keri Posgate
I first met Tessa when I was 16 years old. We were introduced to each other by our mothers, and it felt rather awkward at the time—as it often is between teenagers who don’t know each other.
We met again, quite by chance, at a mother and toddlers’ play centre years later. That encounter sparked a deep and lasting friendship that spanned the next 32 years. During that time, we shared countless experiences together. We both had boys born just two weeks apart at Hillingdon Hospital, and later, we each went on to have daughters. Our children spent many happy days playing in each other’s gardens and homes, building their own special memories while we strengthened our bond as friends.
Tessa and I also shared a deeply personal and unusual connection—we were both abandoned in Hong Kong. Despite those difficult beginnings, we were blessed with happy adoption stories. Having Tessa to talk to about these shared experiences was a source of immense comfort and understanding.
Tessa wasn’t just an amazing friend—she was the Chinese sister I never had growing up. She holds a very special place in my heart, and she always will.
Tribute from Jasmine Gillies
Tribute to Tessa Turner (9/12/1961 – 17/12/2024)
Funeral: 16/1/25 at 11:30am St Andrews Church, Mytchett, Surrey GU16 6HY
Hong Kong adoptees
Tessa had a remarkable start in life. She was born in Hong Kong in 1961 and was part of an extraordinary group of HK babies, mostly females, who were left in public places to be found and were then subsequently taken to orphanages to be cared for.
Jasmine Gillies, also one of these babies, organised the first ever gathering after a conversation with her mother, a journalist, who made her aware there were around100 babies brought to the UK in the late 1950s and early 1960s as part of this special group via the International Social Services and adopted into British families.
Tessa responded immediately to subsequent articles produced by Jasmine’s mother in the Spring of 2000 asking for these girls to come forward. Little did they think at this time that this would be the beginning of much bigger things to come.
On the 7thOctober that year, Jasmine organised an event at St Thomas’s Hospital in London under the spotlight of TV companies and newspapers from Hong Kong including being broadcast on BBC World News live.
This first collective gathering brought together Tessa and Jasmine along with approximately 20 other women in this group adopted from Hong Kong, where lifelong friendships began and flourished.
In 2003 when Julia Feast from the British Association for Adoption and Fostering (BAAF) learned about them, she took a keen interest in this unique group of women and saw the potential for an academic research study about their experience of international adoption and outcomes. Once funding was obtained the project began in earnest with the aim to locate and include the other women from this special group.
Tessa participated in this exciting and important study. She attended the event that took place in 2012 at the Nuffield Foundation where Julia Feast and the research team gave an update on the preliminary findings from the study. It was an emotional and life changing event for many of the 50 women who attended. Until that study many were unaware that they belonged to this unique group or who were in the same room as so many other Chinese women who shared the same beginnings.
Tessa was very much involved with the Hong Kong Adoptees Network (HKAN) that was founded by Debbie Cook in 2010 and formally launched in 2012 with the HKAN website. With the help of Kate Gordon and Sue Jardine, HKAN has become a valuable and important international network and platform for connecting with other HK adoptees.
Tessa being part of the HKAN network, attended many gatherings that united these HK adoptees. She was such a warm kind person, always smiling and incredibly approachable.
She had a firm presence, sharing her own journey with others as well as listening with great interest their personal stories. She made many new friends, being invited into their homes.
The network is well known and over the years has provided other opportunities to help build the histories of HK Adoptees, including Tessa’s.
For example, she was invited to the British Airways headquarters in 2016 with a small group of women to find the flight details of their personal journeys over, and they discovered this took days although now it is hours, also the air hostesses the only ones to care for these small groups of babies during their flight over.
Tessa was also involved when British Airways celebrated 80 years of aviation with UK and HK at China Exchange in London with an exhibition in 2017 which included our HK adoptees group being portrayed.
We all feel extremely privileged to have known Tessa. She was such an important part of the HK adoptees. A wonderful soul who will be greatly missed.
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In memory of Tessa her family have asked for donations to be given towards the St Andrew’s Church Children’s Room project, Mytchett, where her funeral was held.
For any one wishing to make a donation, please contact Debbie hkadoptees2010@yahoo.com and she will pass on the bank details.
